The Friends and Family Module
The relational context an executor or heir would otherwise lack — important relationships, informal arrangements, intentional exclusions, and the priority order for notifying people.
Where this Module fits
E-07 Module 7 of 9 in the Estate area — step 4 of 4 on the dependency ladder (System → At-Home → Financial → Estate).
The relational layer a will and an account inventory don't capture.
Adds to The Secure Guide: Sensitive context only — informal arrangements, intentional exclusions.
Adds to The Family Guide: The relationship map and the full notification list — useful while living, ready in loss.
Every Module adds one section to each guide — that is how the two guides assemble as you work. See what you're building.
Text file — the flexible one. Use it as-is, paste it into a spreadsheet, open it in any editor, or paste it into an AI tool to reshape the blank form to fit your family: rename a field, add a row, drop one you don't need.
Print / PDF — the ready-to-use one. Print it and fill it in by hand, or choose Save as PDF and complete it in your own offline PDF app. Either way it stays with you — the finished Secure Guide template goes inside your Vault.
One rule: only ever give an AI tool the blank template. Never paste your real information — passwords, account numbers, anything you'd keep secret — into an AI tool, an online service, or anywhere outside your own Vault. Customizing an empty form is fine; filling it in happens privately, offline. That's the same rule this site follows: nothing sensitive ever leaves your hands.
Secure Guide Starter Template — Friends and Family
This template belongs in The Secure Guide, stored within The Vault. Update as relationships and arrangements change.
An executor knows the legal structure of what exists. What they usually lack is the human landscape around it: who mattered, who should be told and in what order, who might hold expectations rooted in conversations no one else heard. That context is not captured in a will or an account inventory — it lives in the memory of the person who is gone, unless someone writes it down. This is not a contact list. It is a map of the relationships that matter to the estate and to the family's continuity.
Two categories deserve special care. Informal arrangements create human expectations an executor will encounter, and encountering them without context is genuinely difficult — the shared-use understanding, the promise the other party took seriously. (Money arrangements — a loan made or received — are financial assets and belong in the Other Assets Module; this Module holds the human layer.) And where an estrangement or intentional exclusion exists, the legal treatment belongs in the estate documents, drafted with your attorney; what belongs here is the context that keeps the executor and the surviving family from discovering the situation blind, in the middle of administration.
| Person | Nature of Arrangement | Amount / Details | Status | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
Document informal property or personal arrangements outside formal legal agreements — ongoing understandings about belongings, promises that should be honored or that the estate should know about. Loans made or received are documented in the Other Assets Module; note here only the human context if there is any.
| Name | Relationship | Context |
|---|---|---|
This field is for executor context only — the legal treatment of exclusions belongs in the estate documents. If any relationship needs context the family page should not carry, record it here beside the exclusions; everything else lives openly in The Family Guide.
Family Guide Starter Template — Friends and Family
This template belongs in The Family Guide. It is the family's relationship map — useful while everyone is living, and ready to help through a loss. Kept openly: move a row to The Secure Guide only if its context should not sit on the kitchen counter.
In the matching Secure Guide section: sensitive context only — informal arrangements, intentional exclusions.
That detail is what makes recovery possible — and it is protected in the Vault, which opens with The Vault Key. The key is never written here, by design. The people listed on this page know how it is kept, and the steward's job is to keep that path current, so this page never leads to a locked door.
| Name | Relationship | Contact | Context / Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Close friend | |||
| Extended family | |||
| Former colleague | |||
Why this person matters, in a line — shared history, standing plans, the thing a newcomer to the family would want explained.
| Name | Relationship | Contact | Notify By | Priority |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Phone / Letter / Email | First | |||
The full list, on this page on purpose — nothing about who should hear the news is secret, and the person making calls should not need The Secure Guide to make them. The First tier gets a voice, not a text.
Optional brief orientation to family structure, geography, or history that would help an executor or heir understand the relational context.
Optional personal statement about friendships and family relationships the planner wants acknowledged or preserved.
Anything this page's reader should know that the sections above didn't ask for — the exceptions, the house quirks, the thing you would say out loud while handing this page over.
For more information on how to use these templates, see The Recoverable Family book.
Worked example — Frank's family
Frank made the calls when his father died — and kept discovering people the family only half-knew: the workshop neighbor with Dad's table saw on permanent loan, the coffee group that heard the news secondhand, a cousin nobody had thought to call. Nothing went wrong, exactly. It all just took longer and hurt more than it needed to. This section is the map he wished his father had left.
All details are fictional and illustrative. The assembled example guides live at the example Secure Guide and the example Family Guide.
Secure Guide — Frank's entry
The Friends and Family section of the Mercers' Secure Guide:
| Person | Nature of Arrangement | Amount / Details | Status | Notes |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Walt Jensen | Dad's table saw, permanent loan | Sentimental more than monetary | Settled | Treat as a completed gift, not an estate asset |
| Name | Relationship | Context |
|---|---|---|
| None | — | Recorded so the executor doesn't wonder — the wills treat family evenly. Anything that seems to say otherwise goes to Ruth |
Family Guide — Frank's entry
The people page of the Family Guide.
| Name | Relationship | Contact | Context / Notes |
|---|---|---|---|
| Ray Delgado | Frank's closest friend since Westvale State | 555-0174 | Thirty years of history. He will want to help with the practical things — let him |
| Beth Keller | Sarah's sister | 555-0163 | Alternate guardian for the kids (see Estate Plan); Tuesday check-ins with Margaret |
| Pastor Jim Hollis | Pastor, Westvale Community Church | 555-0126 | Officiated our wedding; knows the funeral wishes exist and where they point |
| Walt Jensen | Grandpa's workshop neighbor, now Frank's friend | 555-0179 | Has Grandpa's table saw on permanent loan — it stays his; written down so no one ever asks for it back |
| Name | Relationship | Contact | Notify By | Priority |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Ellen Hayes | Frank's sister | 555-0142 | Phone | First — she's also the communication hub |
| Beth Keller | Sarah's sister | 555-0163 | Phone | First |
| Tom Mercer | Frank's brother | 555-0119 | Phone | First — he will likely be making the other calls |
| Ray Delgado | Close friend | 555-0174 | Phone | First day |
| Pastor Jim Hollis | Church | 555-0126 | Phone | First day — he'll mobilize the congregation's practical help |
| Meridian Logistics HR — Dana Whitfield | Frank's employer | 555-0158 | Phone | First week — starts the group-life and benefits process (see Work History) |
| Sarah's active clients | The design business | Client list in the Entities Module folder | Email from her business account | First two weeks — Tom or Lily can send the drafted note that sits beside the list |