The Family Compass Module
The family's story, values, and traditions — a shared layer for the living and a private layer of letters and reflections reserved for later reading.
Where this Module fits
A-01 Module 1 of 8 in the At-Home area — step 2 of 4 on the dependency ladder (System → At-Home → Financial → Estate).
First in At-Home — it carries the why for everything that follows.
Adds to The Secure Guide: Stewardship record plus the private letters layer, kept in the Vault.
Adds to The Family Guide: The shared layer — narrative, values, traditions, an optional note to family.
Every Module adds one section to each guide — that is how the two guides assemble as you work. See what you're building.
Text file — the flexible one. Use it as-is, paste it into a spreadsheet, open it in any editor, or paste it into an AI tool to reshape the blank form to fit your family: rename a field, add a row, drop one you don't need.
Print / PDF — the ready-to-use one. Print it and fill it in by hand, or choose Save as PDF and complete it in your own offline PDF app. Either way it stays with you — the finished Secure Guide template goes inside your Vault.
One rule: only ever give an AI tool the blank template. Never paste your real information — passwords, account numbers, anything you'd keep secret — into an AI tool, an online service, or anywhere outside your own Vault. Customizing an empty form is fine; filling it in happens privately, offline. That's the same rule this site follows: nothing sensitive ever leaves your hands.
Secure Guide Starter Template — Family Compass
Store this inside your Vault. This entry holds the stewardship record and the private layer — where the Compass lives, who keeps it, and what is reserved for later reading. Starting is ten minutes: the four stewardship fields below. The private log can stay empty for years and still be doing its job.
This Module runs the other way around from most: nearly everything lives in The Family Guide, shared and used while you are alive. The Secure Guide side is thin by design — a stewardship record, plus one private pocket for letters and reflections meant to be read later. You may not need that pocket yet. Many families begin with the shared layer alone and add private material when they are ready; a blank log below means nothing is reserved yet, and that is fine.
| Document | Recipient | Occasion | Location in Vault | Date Written | Last Reviewed |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
Letters and reflections marked for later reading, logged by reference — the letters themselves live in the Vault.
Private Notes — Values and Intent: reflections too sensitive for general family circulation.
Family History: the Compass is not the place to store the family tree — it is the place to note where that research lives, so the story can be found and continued instead of restarted.
Reference in The Family Guide: "Private letters and sensitive reflections are stored in The Secure Guide within The Vault."
Family Guide Starter Template — Family Compass
This template contains no sensitive information — it is the shared layer of the Compass, meant to be read and used while you are alive, not after. One honest note is enough to begin.
In the matching Secure Guide section: stewardship record plus the private letters layer, kept in the Vault.
The private letters live in the Vault, which opens with The Vault Key — never written here, by design. The people listed on this page know how it is kept.
Where your family comes from, how it was built, and what shaped it — in your own voice. One paragraph is enough to begin; one page is plenty.
| Value | How It Shows Up in Our Lives |
|---|---|
Descriptions, not rules — the values your family actually returns to, and where they show up in everyday decisions.
| Tradition or Practice | Why It Matters | Notes for Future Generations |
|---|---|---|
A tradition survives best when its meaning is understood, not just its mechanics — and it is allowed to change.
How We Stay Connected — the rhythms that feel obvious today are the easiest thing to lose in a transition. A few sentences here give a new spouse, a child leaving home, or anyone stepping in a starting point instead of a guessing game.
Optional: a personal message, in your own voice. Written to be read now — not saved for later.
Private letters and sensitive reflections are stored in The Secure Guide.
Anything this page's reader should know that the sections above didn't ask for — the exceptions, the house quirks, the thing you would say out loud while handing this page over.
For more information on how to use these templates, see The Recoverable Family book.
Worked example — Frank's family
The System area is done: the passwords are documented, the accounts are tracked. This module feels different to Frank — not about locking things down, about getting aligned. Much of what guides the family exists only in conversation, and sometimes in disagreement; the why behind their choices has never been written down. He starts with a single page titled “What Matters to Us Right Now,” and stops there. That is enough.
All details are fictional and illustrative. The assembled example guides live at the example Secure Guide and the example Family Guide.
Secure Guide — Frank's entry
Frank's Secure Guide entry for this module is deliberately thin — a stewardship record and a private layer that stayed empty for nearly a year. Everything the Compass said was meant to be read now, so it all lived in The Family Guide — until the first letter arrived on its own schedule.
| Document | Recipient | Occasion | Location in Vault | Date Written | Last Reviewed |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Letter to Lily (sealed envelope) | Lily | The night before she leaves for college | Fire safe, home office — envelope marked with her name and the occasion | 2026-06 | — |
| — next: one for Jacob — |
The log sat empty for months by choice — Frank's margin note read “Private letters or 'read later' material will come later — when we're ready.” The Secure Guide is not required to start this module. Then, after a Sunday dinner where college came up for the first time, the letter to Lily wrote itself in one sitting. Logged by reference; the letter lives sealed in the Vault. Not every occasion is 'after I'm gone' — this one opens in about a year.
Family History
Family Guide — Frank's entry
The Compass's shared layer opens the At-Home tab of the household reference binder — one page that grew a little over a few months. Nothing in it is sensitive; all of it gets read.
| Value | How It Shows Up in Our Lives |
|---|---|
| Responsibility | Own the mistake first, then fix it — allowances, chores, and the family calendar all run on this |
| Fairness | The kids get a say in decisions that affect them; we explain the ones where they don't |
| Curiosity | Questions are never dumb; one new thing tried per school break |
| Tradition or Practice | Why It Matters | Notes for Future Generations |
|---|---|---|
| Weekly Sunday check-in over dinner | The one hour everyone is at the same table, phones down | The agenda is: nothing. That's the point |
| Shared meals on school nights | Where the small stuff surfaces before it becomes big stuff | Not formal — frozen pizza counts |
These are descriptions, not mandates — Frank and Sarah wrote them down expecting traditions to change as the kids grow.
Months in, after a hard conversation about a school decision, Frank added one reflection: “This helped us talk — not agree, but talk better.”
The last line on the binder page, added the day Frank sealed the envelope: “Private letters are stored in The Secure Guide.” For whom, and for when — the shared layer doesn't say.